How to Find “The One”

happy-marriage If you are new to my blog or do not know me well, here’s a piece of information that you need to know before you read this post…I have not found “The One”. In fact, I have, unfortunately, been divorced twice. I won’t go into details because I do not feel they are really pertinent to this post, but suffice it to say, I have spent a good number of years since those marriages learning how to find “The One”.

First though, I want to define “The One”. “The One” is the person out there that God has created for you since the beginning of time. He knows who will be the one person in this world who will give you the Spiritual, emotional, physical relationship that is God-centered that you need. I need to say here that I think it is possible (because I have done it) that we settle for less than “The One”. When this happens, DO NOT give up on that marriage just because you know you made a mistake or you are having problems. God does not desire this! Instead, work hard at your marriage and your relationship with God and He can turn your current marriage into “The One”!

If you haven’t find that person yet, here are a few tips…

1. Don’t try finding him/her until you have found God first! – This is the most important step. If you don’t have God in your life, finding “The One” is going to fail miserably.

2. Begin praying for “The One” right now! – This is probably the second most important step you can take. Recently I reviewed a book over at For What It’s Worth called “Praying for Your Future Husband”. This book discusses why it’s important to begin praying for that future mate immediately, if not early in your life, and gives some fantastic examples of ways that God used those prayers before the couples got together. I encourage you to read this.

3. Figure out who you are and what you (within God’s will) want out of your life. – I cannot stress this enough! It took two divorces, a lot of heartache, and many years since to determine exactly who I am and what I want out of my life. I finally know what I want for my career, what type of person I truly am and what types of things I want to do and be involved in in my personal life.

4. Figure out what traits you want in your significant other. – You know, we joke about having lists…I have a packing list for vacation, a to-do list for work, a cleaning list for home, a chores list for my son, and so on. A list of things that you want in a future mate will help you narrow things down. For example, your list for your significant other should always start with Godly! From there it can include wants children, loves the outdoors or loves theater, etc. But knowing what you are looking will keep you from settling for less than you deserve. If you are not an outdoorsy type person who loves to camp in tents and hike up the mountain (so not me!), then you want to be sure that the person you spend your life with does not have this as a requirement on their list. See where I’m going with this?

5. Finally, when you do begin dating, be sure that the person you date is praying with you, not just saying they are, but actually praying with you. This will prove that the two of you are putting God first and therefore will make the best decisions because they will be God-driven decisions.

I wish you well as you set off to find “The One”. I wish myself well while I’m at it! And if you have already found that person, BRAVO! Keep God first and the rest will fall into place!

If you would like to read more posts on this topic, you can click on the picture below and check them out.


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20 Responses to “How to Find “The One””

  1. Jenni June 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm #

    Divorced twice as well. Thanks for letting me know that I am glad I am not the only one in the world. :) Wonderful advice and I pray that all that read it take it to heart. Thank you so much for sharing!

    • April June 9, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

      No, girl, you are most definitely not. I may not have done God’s best the first (two) time around but I am looking for it now and I am confident that He will give it to me as long as I keep trusting Him. The same goes for you. He will provide! :)

  2. kristinherdy June 9, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    great tips, April, especially about praying together as a dating couple to seek God’s direction.

    • April June 9, 2011 at 2:27 pm #

      Thanks Kristin!

  3. Kandi June 9, 2011 at 3:36 pm #

    Wise words April. I am 40 years old and never married, and have written a few posts in this subject, I always say know yourself first and get to know who God wants you to be and then let Him bring someone into your life that lines up with that.

    Blessings to you April.

    • April June 9, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

      Thanks for the visit Kandi, I wholeheartedly agree with your comment!

  4. Matt June 9, 2011 at 6:46 pm #

    Love the advice about praying together. Actually convicts me that my wife and I forget to do that quite often.

    • April June 9, 2011 at 6:57 pm #

      I think we all do. I forget to pray with my son (really pray, not just dinner and bed) sometimes too. I think it’s something we will always have to strive for.

  5. Jason June 9, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

    He’s coming and it will likely be when it’s the least comfortable time for you to meet him. Like when you’re in line at the grocery store and have gas or something equally as humbling. ;)

    • April June 9, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

      You sound like you speak from experience. :)

  6. Mom June 10, 2011 at 4:11 am #

    Have I told you lately how proud I am of you?!

    • April June 10, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

      Thanks Mom!

  7. Kyle Reed June 10, 2011 at 6:09 pm #

    Thanks for being honest and open in this post.

    I am still searching for “the one” myself. But i know it is about me preparing myself, which is what I am doing

    • April June 10, 2011 at 6:11 pm #

      Then you got it right Kyle! Praying God sends her your way! :)

  8. SavvyLittleWomen-Kate June 10, 2011 at 7:22 pm #

    Such a great post and honest words. Thanks for sharing your heart!

    • April June 10, 2011 at 7:26 pm #

      Thanks for commenting! I love comments~! :)

  9. floyd June 11, 2011 at 12:06 am #

    This is wonderful advice, I’ve shared this with my daughters after reading your book review and my wife has that book and is encouraging them to read it. The praying with potential mates is HUGE! I like you have failed at marriages as well, however God has redeemed my life of settling for average and blessed me beyond measure! (don’t sue me for stealing your line)!
    I get encouraged when you write with this type of passion, your future husband too will be blessed beyond measure!

    • April June 20, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

      Thanks so much Floyd! I am so glad to hear that you recommended this book to your daughters, I think they would be blessed by it.

  10. Bonnie Gray | Faith Barista June 18, 2011 at 12:17 am #

    April, I wanted to pop in here and say how blessed I am your voice is in our community. I loved your tips you put in the jam– #1 definitely of course! — and #3 really resonated with me. I got married later when I was in my 30′s. I knew myself well and was old enough to know I needed someone who’d love me exactly the way I am. Not to say I wouldn’t change. But I needed the security that he wasn’t marrying an ideal me. You know? May God continue to bless you on your journey – as you bless others.. and that beautiful son of yours!

    • April June 20, 2011 at 1:13 pm #

      Thanks Bonnie! I love the prompts you give us each week!

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