Emily P. Freeman, the author of “Grace for the Good Girl”, knows exactly what it’s like to be a good girl. In this preface, “the hiding”, Emily begins to tell us her story and why she wrote this book. She knows what it’s like to live behind the masks that good girls create. She knows that when you are a good girl, you can become so clever at hiding that you fool everyone around, even yourself. There are some lines in this first section that I want to talk about:
I didn’t know what it meant to walk with him.
Even though Emily had accepted Jesus at a young age, though her faith was very real, she didn’t really know how to walk with God. She says her faith always felt too structured and boxed in. I’m going to be really honest, even though I have grown up in the church and grown up under the direction of a wonderful woman of God, and though I have always known that my faith was real and my salvation true, I have never felt freedom in my walk with God. Now, before you start condemning me or my family, or my understanding of how to do that, please remember that we each have our own “stuff” that binds us. It might be that when you are faced with a situation in which God wants control (which is all the time), you may find it easier to let go, but for the good girl, letting God have control is not that easy and sometimes our “know how” is so buried under all our “stuff” that we just simply don’t know how.
My battle with shame was constant and hovering.
Anytime I have ever done anything wrong, no matter how big or small, I have struggled with shame and guilt. I flog myself inwardly more than anyone could possibly condemn me outwardly.
I taught people around me that I had no needs
This is me to a “T”. I am the person who is always OK. I won’t ask you for help, even when I feel like I’m dying inside. I am “good to go”, don’t worry about me. Help so-and-so over there, they need it more. Does that sound like you too?
Jesus makes it safe to walk out from under that system. He will not come undone. He remains un-overwhelmable.
This is what us good girls need to wrap our heads around…”He is un-overwhelmable”. I am always overwhelmed, but God can’t be overwhelmed. We are desperate for that and we need to cling to it. I need to cling to it.
Does this sound like you? It’s most definitely me so far. Let’s dig in deeper…. Next time…Chapter 1, ‘Are you a good girl in hiding?”